raw

my feet hurt walking down the hill because i have clipped the calluses off my feet

the strange cousin of nail biting

i cut off the skin and feel no pain /fascinating/

i cut off the unfeeling barrier 

now i am raw.

cold feet

sheets always slip away from cold feet
a heart is not too much to ask?
like when we sat on the couch and you had your arm round my leg
but you had your head on her chest
and you have your head on the clouds
and i have cold feet

so what do i say to sharp emotions
cutting calls you perfect
awash with rubbing alcohol
and calls me broken

sheets always slip away from cold feet
a heart is not too much to ask?

passion and desire

passion and desire are primal and therefore fierce.do not try to mellow them,snuff them out with modern sterility. instead understand fully their force,their immense control.

it is:  love
it is:  mind
it is:  create

love as mental illness

I am currently reading a book called,Love sick: love as mental illness.it centers around the idea that love (or love sickness) replicates psychological disorders and  even manifests in physical symptoms (i.e rapid pulse, excessive perspiration, dryness of the mouth). all of these topics confirm my suspicions. i have experienced symptoms of depression leading to suicidal ideation after feeling extreme desire for someone. i have also experienced symptoms of obsessive thought disorder. also, self delusion (he must like me, he said hi to me) which is a step away from hallucination. These revelations are extremely frightening. especially since i seem to have a propensity to form quick, intense passions (more than the average person). this serves to affirm the practicality of becoming a hermit. oh well. i don't know if i should try to fight these feelings or embrace them to the fullest.

afraid

lonely